Marathon Taper Has Begun!!!

We are two weeks from race day and are in full taper mode.  Partially by design, and partially because we are sick.  Both of us.  I think the 20 mile long runs have caught up to us.  I'm seriously thinking that another marathon is not in my future.  I bet everyone feels that way two weeks before the race and maybe my thoughts will change but right now I don't see how.

On a very good note I passed the 1,000 mile mark for running in 2010.  This is a pretty big accomplishment for me.  I can't say as I ever thought I would run that far!

I hope everyone had a good Christmas.  Ours was good - rather eventful but still good.  We spent Christmas day with my mom, sisters and their families for the first time since I don't know when.  Mom has always worked on holidays - it is good for the extra pay but since she isn't working right now we took advantage of it.  We all went to church on Friday night and then came back to our house for soup and the plan was to decorate cookies for Santa and then maybe play a few games.  Then we would track Santa for a bit and hit the hay.  Well, it didn't turn out that way.  After we got home from church my 4 year old nephew and his sister were pretty wound up.  My nephew ended up slipping and hitting his forehead on the coffee table which opened up a decent sized gash in his head.  My sister and I took him to the ER to get glued back up.  Santa was at the hospital when we were there and visited him.  He got four presents!!!!  He did so good - and was so brave.

After we got home my sister and I decorated the cookies and had a glass of wine.  It was fun.

On Christmas day we headed to my other sister's house for lunch and present opening.  The food was great and we got to take a few good pictures.  When we got home Travis started feeling a little crappy.  He was running a fever and just feeling rotten in general.  He didn't eat or really drink anything the rest of the day.  At about 11:45pm I decided to head to bed and woke him up (he had been snoozing on the couch).  He got up and followed me to the bedroom and went into the bathroom.  I jumped into bed.  A few seconds later he opened the door and then I heard a horrific thud.  He passed out and was laying on the floor with his eyes open but he wasn't responding to me.  It seemed like an eternity but I'm sure it was no longer than 30 seconds.  When I first got over there it looked like he had blood coming out of his ear.  That made me nervous.  Then I noticed the blood was actually coming from his chin.  He must have hit the foot board of the bed on his way down.  The gash was decent sized and I knew we needed to go to the ER.  He just wanted me to put a butterfly Band-Aid on it (he is such a manly man you know).  I called the Ask A Nurse line and they said that yes he did need to go to the ER. 

I got Travis up and out into the car and then went to get Sam.  She looked a little dazed and confused but she did great the whole time we were there.  She sat on my lap and played with her doll and then ate some cheese crackers.  We were there until around 2:30am and Travis got 7 stitches.  But that isn't the end of the story. 

On Sunday night he thought it was swelling a bit and by Monday after work he decided he needed to go to the doctor.  His wound had started seeping pus and blood.  Ick!  He is now on antibiotics and had to stay home from work today.  The doctor told him he should call the hospital and complain about the fact that he developed an infection.  Now that we think about it, I don't know that they even washed the cut out before they sewed him up.  I know they wiped the blood away but I don't think they cleaned it out.  That is disturbing.  To add to things I have a sinus infection and until about 4 hours ago I was feeling pretty crappy as well.  Thank goodness for antibiotics! 

Sam Update:  Our baby girl is now 18 months old.  I can't believe it!  She is so much fun now.  She is learning so much every day and is so excited to share her knowledge with us.  She is also very generous with hugs and kisses and is so sweet most of the time.  

Mom Update:  She is doing well.  She has 3 more taxol treatments and then will get her spacers taken out and her implants put in.  Then she has 12 weeks of radiation.  Hopefully the radiation won't damage the implants too much.  I also want to put her in a bubble to protect her from all of the illness that is around her right now.  My sister's entire family went through or is going through some sort of a stomach bug complete with a low grade fever.  Mom has a sinus infection and got some antibiotics for it on Sunday.  Hopefully those help her out.  Keep her in your prayers.

I'm sure I won't post again before Saturday so HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!!

Toddler Menu

Bread, corn & peaches.  That is pretty much it for the little one.  I think she is on a hunger strike right now.  Oh wait, I can get her to eat organic graham cracker bunnies on occasion as well.  I wonder how long this is going to last?

Nearing Year End Thoughts

Wow - another year is almost done!  I've always thought that time went by too quickly but since I've become a mom I think someone put the clock in super speed mode.  Really, can we just slow it down a little bit!  In many ways 2010 has not been a good year (mom diagnosed with BC, Travis still not loving (who am I kidding......I should say not even remotely close to liking and simply tolerating because it is the right thing to do and he is a great guy) his job, my company deciding to close it's doors and being lucky to still be employed but not doing a job that I would have hand picked for myself, Travis' dad having multiple surgeries, etc., etc. 

But I can't be all gloom and doom.  The things I am thankful for are plentiful as well.  Mom is doing pretty well & we are praying every day that she is healthy and that she, the medicine, and doctors do what they need to do to keep her that way.  Please God, bless her and our family with health and happiness.  Please bless her with continued employment as well!  I am still employed and did get a promotion and I really enjoy the people I am working with.  Sam is growing like crazy and is a huge blessing in our lives every single day!  My older sister and her family moved to town this fall.  My hubby is amazing!  I have a great vacation coming up in January!  And did I mention my hubby is amazing???????

It has been a busy year of training as well.  I did two triathlons this year, a few 5Ks, and I trained for a half marathon and a 20K that I didn't end up running at the last minute do to illness.  I am in the home stretch of training for the Goofy at Disney in January.  Looking back at 2010 here are my training stats so far.  I'm hoping to get to 1,000 miles running by the end of the year!

2010 totals through the end of November

Bike: 64h 46m 03s - 1064.34 Mi

Run: 149h 46m 59s - 883.57 Mi

Swim: 6h 38m 38s - 14000 M

We spent Thanksgiving with Travis' family and took some great pictures of Sam outside.  It is hard to believe that the temp was 55 degrees on Saturday.

 

This weekend we are planning on a 10 mile run on Friday and a 18-20 mile run on Saturday.  It is time to get ready for the back to back that will be the Disney Half and Disney Marathon.  Wish me luck - hopefully I'll be relaxing on Saturday night basking in a Big XII Championship for my beloved Huskers!  GO BIG RED!

My Toenails Are Going to Fall Off

So about a month ago I did an 18 mile long run with toenails that were slightly too long.  BAD IDEA!!!!  Now both of the toenails on my big toes are turning colors.  Other than the fact that they are turning colors they have been a little tender but nothing too major. 

Tonight I ran 7 on the treadmill at a pretty good clip and my right big toe is starting to swell a little and it feels warm.  The funky color of the nail now looks more purplish.  I don't need toe issues with six weeks of training left before the Goofy!  Does anyone know how to speed up the healing process of your toes??????

I'm keeping my fingers crossed that the toenails either fall off quickly or heal quickly.  Either way, I promise not to share any more icky foot stories.

Happy Running!

Trader Joe's has arrived

I've read so much about Trader Joe's and I was so excited when I heard one would be opening in my area in November.  It opened about a week ago and I hadn't gone until today.

I had today off for Veteran's Day and I made the most of it.  I got up and took Sam to day care (I always feel guilty taking her to day care when I have the day off).  Then I put in 8 miles on the treadmill.  After my run, I cleaned my bathrooms, scrubbed my floors and did some light dusting.  Then I headed out for a hair cut.  After that it was time for a quick lunch - Subway turkey & ham with apples.  Then I headed to TJ's.  The place was a mad house.  I bought a few things such as organic chicken breast, organic wheat bread, lobster ravioli, sprouted wheat bread, some greek yogurt and some fresh salsa.  The experience wasn't that great - way too many people.  I didn't have time to really look around.  I'm happy they are here though.  The prices for the organic stuff were cheaper than what I am used to paying.  Hopefully this will spur some more competitive pricing.

For dinner I decided it was time to really cook.  I was hungry for Mexican and found a recipe online for Mexican Chicken Casserole from Cooking Light.  I have never cooked anything from Cooking Light that has turned out worth a darn but this stuff was awesome.  It took me an hour to prepare (which is why I don't cook much) but in the end it was worth it.  I topped it with some of the Trader Joe's fresh salsa, which was outstanding, and a little light sour cream.  The picture above is from myrecipes and it actually looked like that when it was done.  That never happens to me!

Twenty Miler......I Survived!

Wow you marathon runners are amazing.  We did our 1st ever 20 mile run this morning and I am mentally drained!  My feet are some too and my legs were really tight.  Now they are starting to swell up a bit.  I woner if the leg poofiness is normal.  I hate the Michelin Man feeling.

The first several miles were hard.  It was 24 degrees when we started running and my lower half wasn't dressed appropriately.  My buns and thighs went numb and stayed that way until mile 10.  10-15 went ok and after that things got progressively worse.  The last two were tough but we made it!  I'm proud of my hubby too!!!

In two weeks we go 22.  Two weeks after that is 24 the 26 and we are good to go.

20 miles tomorrow - I'm nervous

Tomorrow we have a 20 mile long run and I'm feeling anxious.  Butterflies in my tummy before a race nervous.  Is that normal.  I also feel a cold coming on.  I'm keeping my fingers crossed that it doesn't get worse.

I'm also in Cedar Rapids sitting with my mom & sister while mom gets Taxol.  We met with the oncologist this morning and she is so nice.  Mom is doing well.  She may have a touch of Hand and Foot Syndrome from the previous chemo drugs.  WBC count was good.

Is it time to break out the crockpot?

Fall has arrived and right along with it I can hear my crock pot calling my name.  What is better than coming home to a nice hot bowl of chili or some roast and veggies.  I love it, but I rarely take the time to get it ready to cook so instead I end up throwing some frozen tortellini in some boiling water, topping with a little marinara sauce and some easy fruit for dessert.  I'm trying to break the pasta habit.  We really need to start rocking the crock.  This week my goal is to find some delicious veggie filled recipes I can throw together in the morning and then let it cook to perfection all day.  Training for a marathon as the days grow shorter and colder is tough.  Finding time to eat and feed a 16 month old before 7pm is even tougher.  I hope the crock pot is the answer to my problems.

Running has been going ok.  Saturday will be my very first 20 mile long run.  I wish I could run faster so it wouldn't take up so much of my day but that isn't going to happen and now is certainly not the time to try and push it. 

Sam update - she is 16 months and is running now.  She is repeating almost everything we say and is able to identify body parts.  She also is developing a love of baby dolls.  She likes to get a dish towel out of the kitchen and cover them up and then pick them up and pat them on the back.  It is so cute. 

Yesterday was Halloween and we didn't do much Trick-Or-Treating but she did put on her costume while we were at Travis' sister's house this weekend.  My nephew only lasted a few minutes in his frog costume before he flipped out a bit.  Sam did ok - she had a cute Tinkerbell costume.  I wish the cute shoes I bought to match would have fit!

One thing they were talking about on the radio this morning is how many neighborhoods have "Trick-Or-Drinking" for the adults who are taking their kids around.  Is this a weird Iowa thing or do other areas do this as well?

Mom Update:  She had her first round of Taxol last Friday and it doesn't appear to be nearly as toxic (at least short term) as the A/C.  Mom is concerned about neuropothy though and that is a longer term side effect.  I think there are also some heart related side effects to watch out for.  I've done a lot of digging around on the internet and this appears to be the common course of treatment and it is scheduled to continue for another 11 weeks.  Then there is a short break before radiation is scheduled to begin.  Mom isn't too excited about radiation and she is seriously thinking about not doing it.  The doctor wants her to take the treatments.  We'll see what happens.  Sam and I are headed over there on Friday.  I want to sit with her through her treatment and then her birthday is Sunday so we will have some fun.

I'll sign off for now - I need to start recipe hunting!  Oh and one last thing - GO BIG RED!  My beloved Huskers played a great game on Saturday afternoon.  It was a beautiful day with a beautiful result on the football field - you can't ask for much more than that.  Now it is time to beat up on the Clones!

18 Miles - Down

Today I ran the longest long run of my life.  18 miles.  Wow.  Who would have thunk it.

Travis and I hit the trail late this morning and it took forever but we got it done.  I really didn't feel too bad.  Travis cramped up pretty bad and could hardly walk for a few hours after we finished.  We didn't set ourselves up very well....we didn't eat anything before we started even though it was almost lunch time.  We took some Chomps with us but that probably wasn't enough.

My sister and family watched Sam for us while we ran.  Having family around is so awesome.

We are kicking back now watching a little football after running to Jimmy John's for a sandwich.  I've been eating really well lately, mostly organic and such but JJ is a treat for us and always tastes great after a long run!

Sam Update:  I was out of town for 4 days and when I picked her up from daycare yesterday afternoon I swear she looked like she had changed.  They grow so stinking fast it is unbelievable.  This morning she wanted to color so I put her in her highchair, got out some crayons and a coloring book and let her go to town.  She scribbled allover her tray as well (no biggie - it washes off) and took a small bite or two out of the colors but she had fun.

This weekend we were supposed to go to the zoo for trick or treating.  I bought Sam a Tinkerbell costume this week along with some really cute jellies.  Well, we ended up not going.  My sister & her family and my mom didn't come to town because mom is still not feeling well.  She has a cough now.  I talked them into going to the doctor yesterday morning and her WBC count is really low (something like 800 if that makes any sense) and they could hear some wheezing and rattling in one of her lungs.  She has no fever but I'm wondering if her body will even let her get a fever since her count is so low.  They gave her some antibiotics and said if she gets a fever or starts coughing up greenish or yellow stuff she needs to call them.  My sister said she sounded better today - it appears the wheezing may be dissipating.  Please keep her in your prayers.

Well, I have to go, I need to kick my feet up and watch a little football before we hit the sack.  My Huskers won today so all is good.

Goodnight!

Why does the baby always get sick when one of us is traveling

I'm on my first work related trip in years.  I am also not home to rock my 16 month old baby girl to sleep for the first time since the day she was born.  I'm doing OK.  I miss her and my incredibly awesome hubby like crazy but I'm managing.  I talked to her on the phone last night.  I said "Hi, baby" and I swear she said "Hi, baby" right back.  It was so cute. 

All isn't rosy with her though.  She has come down with a bug of some sort.  Daycare called yesterday at noon and Travis had to go pick her up.  She has a slight fever and seems a little tired but other than that she seems OK.  She got her 15 month vaccinations last Friday so I wonder if she is having a reaction to one of them.  I think the MMR shot often has a delayed reaction.  I really want to drive home right now but I can't.  My older sister is taking care of her today & hopefully she can go back to day care tomorrow.  I can't wait to see her and Travis tomorrow night.

Mom update:  She did complete her A/C chemo last Thursday.  She hasn't been feeling well this week though.  She thinks she is fighting a little bit of a cold (my niece and nephew have both had fevers lately and she lives with them).  Yesterday she felt good enough to go out for breakfast with a friend but ate some greasier food and she said her tummy hasn't felt very good since then.  Hopefully she gets better quickly.

Goofy training has been going pretty well.  I have not done this much running in my life but since I haven't run a marathon before I guess that is to be expected.  I just wish I ran a little faster so it didn't take me so long to do my runs.  Oh well, I know I'm not fast and never will be so that is what I get when adding on the miles.  This weekend is my first 18 mile long run.  I'm looking forward to it.  Saturday is going to fly by....18 mile run in the morning, Nebraska football game on TV in the afternoon and a trip to the zoo for trick or treating in the late afternoon/early evening.  My mom, sister & family are planning on coming over too.  I'm going to be beat by Sunday morning!

Gotta run.....the Mall of America is calling my name!

This one will bring tears to your eyes

I do not think I have posted the link to Baby Khloe Sassman's story on here yet.  She is from a town near me and some of my work friends know her family. Read the journal when you have some time....it is a long story brimming with amazing faith and love.  I think it will touch your heart!    www.caringbridge.org/visit/khloesassman/journal

Mom is done with A/C Chemo

Mom finished her 8 week course of A/C Chemo today.  She has done great.  I have been super paranoid that she was going to get sick & still am.  I want to put her in a bubble but I know you can't do that.  She needs to live her life and get out when she feels she needs to.

She still isn't working and I'm getting a little nervous that she will eventually lose her job and her benefits.  I'm not sure what we would do then.  She was working part time as an LPN.  Right now she just doesn't have the energy to care for patients.  She can last an hour or two before she needs some rest.  That just doesn't work in the nursing environment.  She has a little chemo brain going on as well but not really too bad.  Her WBC count has been low at least once and it was then that she was thinking about going back to work.  The doctor put the kibosh on that quickly.  She has applied for SS - Disability and possibly early retirement.  Does anyone know how health insurance works if you are on Social Security/Disability? 

Sam & I visited her this weekend while Travis headed to help his dad with harvest.  We went to the pumpkin farm with mom, my sister & her family.  We got to celebrate my nephew's birthday too.  It was a great weekend.  The weather was perfect.  I'm including some pictures from the weekend in this post.

Now on to marathon (to be more accurate "Goofy" training).  Last week looked like this.  Monday - 3 miles at 5-10K pace, Tuesday 3 miles, Wednesday - 5 miles, Thursday - off, Friday - 3 miles, Saturday - 15 miles (which I did on the treadmill in my sister's basement.  Thank goodness for college football even though the Michigan vs. Michigan State game wasn't that great).  I felt pretty good all week.  The program I am following has you running really long every other weekend.  For some reason I feel really drained the week after the long run.  I think I'm still working hard to build endurance.  Next weekend is an 18 mile long run.  I've never even seriously thought about running that far.  WOW! 

I can't wait to get to Disney in January.  We are going to have such a great time.  The runs will be fun and then we are going to relax.  I'm not going to let anything bother me.

In my last post I mentioned that I had bought a few books.  I've been reading Master Your Metabolism and Anti Cancer and it is surprising to me how much they support each other in their teaching.  I may be a sucker but I am gradually buying into their philosophy....implementing it is hard though.  I crave sugar.  I don't know why but I do.  I really shouldn't because I eat a lot of fruit and you would think that would curb my craving for candy but for some reason it doesn't.  Sugar is one of the things both books say to avoid.  I'm a work in progress. 

I Bought Two New Books Today - I never buy books!

I went to Barnes & Noble this afternoon with my sister and actually bought two books - wait, I bought three books!  I've been a library goer and anti book buying for years now so this really is monumental day for me.  I bought Jillian Michaels - Master Your Metabolism, David Servan-Schreiber - AntiCancer a New Way of Life and I bought "Just Like Daddy" - a kid's book about a border collie and his puppy.  I bought the last one for my hubby.  Our soon to be 14 year old dog is a border collie and we love her so much!  I had never seen a kid book with a border collie in it so I had to buy it!

Regarding the other books, I'm trying to figure out why in the world so many people are getting cancer.  I also wanted something I could give my mom that would help her try and take some control over her body in this fight she is in with this ugly disease.  I read bits and pieces of AntiCancer on Amazon and decided it was worth shelling out some bucks to purchase it.  I'll let you know what I think as I make my way through it.  As for the Jillian Michaels book, it just intrigues me and I was in the buying mood so it now lives at my house.

Mom had a CBC done on Friday as she was on the schedule to return to work on Monday.  Needless to say she won't be performing her nursing job on Monday as her WBC count was low.  I also came down with a sore throat on Thursday and Sam had a bit of a snotty nose.  We were planning on going over to see her but I called and talked to her nurse and she advised we postpone our visit.  I'm so scared I'm going to make her sick.  Will I ever get over that?  We'll see if she is good to go for her next round of chemo on Thursday.

Training for the Goofy is coming along.  Saturday was a 12 miler which I ended up running on the treadmill at the Y.  ICK!  It was raining and about 52 degrees out.  Travis ran the whole thing outside but I'm not that tough.  I think we do 14 next Saturday.  I got some new shoes about a week ago and I can really tell the difference.  My legs feel so much better now. 

Quick Sam update, she really started walking this week and she is everywhere.  It is amazing how quickly they go from just a few steps to full speed non stop all throughout the house!  I like that I don't have to carry her everywhere and she seems to have stopped shoveling every little speck of dirt she sees on the floor into her mouth so that is nice as well.  She has started throwing a little temper tantrum or two though.  She will just lay down on the floor and kick her legs.  I try not to laugh but it is rather funny to watch.

I have a Habitat for Humanity build tomorrow so I get one more day of not doing my day job - gotta love that!  I think I'll be doing some interior painting which should be fun.

Fall is Awesome

I love this time of year! The crisp mornings, low humidity, leaves turning colors, everything about it is great except one thing.....it means winter is coming! :-(

Marathon training is going ok. I was sick for about a week and a half. I finally went to the doctor after a week of horrible sinus issues and a productive cough. He told me I had bronchitis and sent me home with an antibiotic. 24 hours later I was feeling 100% better & today for the first time in 2 weeks I didn't need to blow my nose thousands of times a day. One health related remotely disgusting fact to share....towards the tail end of the illness I was blowing out Tang colored snot. That is disgusting!

I did my second tri of the season the last weekend of August. I didn't do as well as I did in the July race but I still finished 6th out of 31 in my age group which isn't too bad. My run was horrible though and I killed myself on the bike course. For some reason I refused to shift into my smaller chain ring until the third and final lap. If I would have done so during the first lap I would have finished the bike quicker and probably saved my legs for the run. One of the really frustrating things was that I could not find my spot when I came into T2. Seriously, I spent an extra minute just trying to find my spot on the rack. My sister-in-law joined us in the race and completed her first tri. Nice job Kris.

Sam is doing great. I should take her in for a weight check. Something tells me she is nudging her way up on the the weight percentile charts. She is eating everything in sight and feels like she is packing on the pounds. She is talking more and says "hi, bye, mama, dada, puppy, and her newest thing is no-no". The no-no comes complete with the index finger wagging. The first time she did it was after I told her "no biting". We have never said no-no and wagged a finger at her though. She must have picked this up from daycare. It was hilarious. I managed to get a video of it and posted it on FaceBook.
My mom is doing good. She had her second chemo treatment today. The first one wasn't too bad. She had a little bit of a queasy stomach but never threw up. She had her first round on a Thursday as well and she felt ok that day, pretty good the next day, totally wiped out Saturday and then gradually started to gain back some energy. We expect the same this time around. She gets a shot the day after chemo to help keep her white blood cell count up. They did blood work this morning and her counts were a little low but not low enough to postpone chemo today. They expect the shot tomorrow to help out. So far her hair is still attached to her head but they tell her to expect it to start falling out soon. She says she won't cry when it does. I told her if she did that was ok. Since I've been sick I haven't been able to go see her. I'm paranoid I will make her sick. I think I'm probably being too concerned. I wanted to go over today for her treatment but she doesn't want me taking time off work to come over now. She wants me to save my time until she needs me. I want to hang out with her some while she feels good though.

Thanks to all who have posted concerns about me and what my mom is going through. You are all awesome and I appreciate it soooooo much.

I noticed some people posting "a day in the life". I think I should do that too. Thanks to MomRunningFromCancer for tagging me for the Cherry on Top Award. I really don't have time to see who I could tag who hasn't already been tagged but I will answer question # 1.

1) Answer this question: if you had the chance to go back and change one thing in your life, would you and what would it be? I would know more about what I wanted to be when I grew up when I entered college. I started out as a pre-physical therapy major, which I think I would have loved if I could have handled the chemistry courses. I don't get chemistry and I gave up too easy. I changed to dietetics but hit the science problem again and then changed to advertising. I now work in banking & finance. How did I get here? I make too much money to quit and go back to school and I'm good at what I do but to be honest I don't think it is my "passion". I would love to work in public health and wellness. I would really like to work in a medical setting helping people who have chronic diseases such as heart disease or diabetes and even cancer make changes to their diet and exercise. We need to get people in this country to take control of their own health! Our kids are becoming diabetic everywhere we turn. This shouldn't be happening. We are smart people. We need to fix this!!!!! We need a way for this to be affordable. I'm not saying it should be covered by insurance but if mental illness is covered couldn't health and wellness guidance be covered as well. I don't know but I do know that what we are doing now isn't working.

Mom's Boyfriend Visits the Hospital

River, Sam & Mom

Mom is still in the hospital recovering from an infection in her left breast. She's been there since Tuesday evening and as long as things go well, she should be headed home tomorrow.

When talking to my sister on Friday morning, she mentioned how drab mom's room was. There were no flowers (it drives mom crazy that people spend money on flowers) and it seemed do dull. I started wracking my brain, what could add a little color to the room and make mom smile whenever she looked at it. What does she like???? Then Johnny Depp popped into my head. I thought about a Pirates of the Caribbean poster. He is one of her favorites - particularly in that movie. We could have a movie night at the hospital on Friday night. Then I thought some more, a poster just wouldn't cut it....where could I find a life size cardboard cut out of Captain Jack Sparrow in an hour and a half. Thank you to "The Theatrical Shop" in town. I called, they had it and I immediately left work. It was approx 6 foot tall and folded over once. It barely fit in the trunk.

Assembly Time

When we got to the hospital, my sister and her family met us in the parking garage. We carried Jack to the family room on the 4th floor where we assembled him. Then we headed to mom's room. Travis hung back with Captain Jack. I had the theme from Pirates ready to play on my cell. Sam and I walked into the room and gave mom a hug and a kiss and made a little small talk. She then asked where Travis was. We told her he had stopped off at the bathroom. I headed out into the hall to "let him know what room we where in". I told him we were ready & to give me 30 seconds to get the song rolling and my camera ready.

I started the song and got out the camera and mom just looked at me funny. Then Travis made his entrance with Captain Jack leading the way. Here are some pictures of mom's reaction.

With all of the stuff we have had going on, I've still managed to squeeze in workouts but I'm not following my training plan. We'll see how much I suffer for this next weekend.

Sam Update: She fed herself with a spoon on Thursday night. She still isn't walking but she also doesn't want to crawl much anymore. She likes to grunt until you get up and walk with her holding onto your hands. It is fun but tiring!

We also picked mom some wild flowers on our run this morning. I'm sure some of them are actually weeds but oh well they looked pretty.

Spin Class

Travis & I did another spin class at the YMCA tonight. Wow - these things are tough. We did a flat road warm up then did sprints first and then did steady hills. She had us ride at 200 watts for 5 min, 4 min, 3 min, 2 min, & 1 min with one minute recovery between each pedaling at 120 RPM on the recovery. I was sweating bullets and my hubby was barely breathing hard. Actually, he said he got in a good workout but he looked much better at the end than I did. He rode the hills at 250 watts. He is the shiznit!

Does anyone out there use spin classes as part of their tri training? It seems like it would make me a stronger biker but when I googled it most of the info I found was negative. They say the intensity is too high. I figure it is a speed workout that I don't normally do so it should be good but then again, what do I know.

We took Sam to the child watch area when we got to the Y and she has stranger danger pretty bad right now. About a half hour into our class one of the day care ladies came up to get me saying she wouldn't stop crying. I immediately got irritated. I didn't believe that she was having that tough of a time. I didn't say a word to the lady. I led the way down to the room and when I opened the door she wasn't crying and she didn't look like she had been crying. She was sitting with another lady and whimpered a bit but when I made eye contact with that lady she nodded her head and said she seemed fine now. I went back upstairs and finished the workout. When it was over we made a beeline for the child watch room. Sam was on the floor playing with toys. I asked the lady who was with her if she had been upset and hard to deal with and she said not really, she wasn't really crying, she had no tears and was just whimpering a bit on and off. Once she acclimated (which took her about a half hour) she was willing to play and she was fine. I feel guilty dropping her off at child watch after she has been at daycare all day but it does let us get a solid workout in and we don't have to alternate which seems to take all night. Has anyone taken their child to child watch at the gym? It is the only way we can get in a good bike ride right now.

Mom Update: She met with the oncologist this afternoon. The great news is there was nothing on the CT scan that looked suspicious. The bad news is that they sent her to the hospital because she has an infection in her left breast (the side that had the tumor). She is in the hospital to get intravenous antibiotics and to see if a drain tube needs to be put in. I think this has to be wearing on her a bit, it certainly would be if it were me. If you are the praying type please keep praying and thanking God for healing her. She was supposed to start chemo this week but had to have the surgery last week to remove some dying skin. Now she has the infection. Chemo plans may be on hold again but healing of the breast tissues is the most important thing right now. Keep plugging away mom - we love ya lots!!!!!

Sam Update: She moved up to the young toddler room at day care on Monday. She seems to like it but it is wearing her out. They have a nap schedule now and she is so busy all day long. She has come home with more bumps and scrapes over the past 2 days then she had in the past 13 months in the baby room. I guess that is what happens as they grow. We bought her some blocks this weekend and she loves them. She still isn't walking but now she doesn't seem to want to crawl. Whenever she wants to go somewhere she grabs your hands and grunts until you stand up and walk with her - it is wearing me out!!!!

Blogging via my Droid

It works! Sort of. And I can upload pictures too! Look out!!!!!! The picture above is Sam showing her excitement over the tiny stick she has in her hand! Aren't kids awesome!

Surgery #2

River, Julee, Mom, Logan (in front), Sam & Me

First off, thank you all for your very supportive comments to my last post. It is so great to hear stories of survivors! The past month has been incredibly busy. Mom lives with my sister is two hours away but I have been trying to make it to some of the doctor appointments and we were also there a few weekends ago so I haven't had much time to write any updates. I've been trying to post via my iPod & via my Droid but neither one lets me do anything except create a title. If anyone knows if there is a way to make it work on the iPod or Droid let me know.

The mastectomy went pretty well. The pathology confirmed the cancer had spread to 5 of the 17 lymph nodes they removed. I was really upset for a while. I called my hubby and he got in the car and drove over then we both took the next day off and spent some time at my sisters. Mom did great. She was pretty sore for a few days but her demeanor has been great. She is my hero! Oh, and my sister's day care didn't charge me for the 2 days Sam spent there. That was awesome. Just when you start to think there aren't any caring people out there something like that happens and it just makes you feel so good.

Mom's sisters flew in two weeks ago and are going home tomorrow. They have kept her really busy so I hope she does well when they leave. I know she could stand to catch up on some sleep. It was great seeing them and I hope they can come out again soon.

Aunt Bobbi, Aunt Jeannie, Mom, Sam, Me, Logan, Julee & River

Mom had surgery this past Tuesday afternoon to clean up some dying skin where her incisions are. I had never heard of such a thing but apparently it happens from time to time. If she wasn't going to start chemo soon they probably would have just let it heal on its own but they want to expedite the healing process and apparently removing the dying tissue does just that. Surgery went well (although it was scheduled for 3pm and didn't start until 5:30pm). She was in recovery by 7pm and then in the car headed for home by 8:30pm. I drove home and was in bed shortly after 11pm. It was a long but good day. I took mom scotcharoos (one of her favorite treats) which she appreciated! She meets with the oncologist on Tuesday afternoon when they will review the CT scan she had so please keep us in your prayers!

My little sister has been amazing throughout this whole thing. I love you Julee & you are doing a great job!

One of the good things I see happening is the time we are spending with mom, Julee, Marty & my niece and nephew. On Tuesday at the hospital my niece actually came to me for a hug and a kiss. She is two and has never done that before. I'm really thankful for this, I just wish we would have done it under better circumstances.

Now, on to working out and tri training. I've been plugging away. Normally I follow a training plan to a "T". That hasn't been happening lately. I've given myself some leeway to get the workouts in whenever and in whatever order I can. We also joined the YMCA this week. I really want to work as a fitness/nutrition advisor to senior citizens when I retire (and maybe before that if the finances would work out) and I want to take as many classes and get as much training as I can. My short term goal is to teach a spinning class.

Speaking of spinning class..........oh my goodness!!!!! I've heard people call these classes "sufferfests" and now I understand why. I took two classes last week and boy were they tough. I think I threw up a little in my mouth during the last class. Sorry if that grossed anyone out! My sister tells me I need to try a kickboxing class. Travis is going with me to spinning tomorrow morning. I told him how tough it is. I'm sure he'll breeze through it and I will look like a wimp. Oh well.

Sam update: She is doing well. At her 1 year check up she had dropped to the 8th percentile for weight. The doctor still isn't too concerned but said to keep giving her formula and add an extra scoop. She eats well, sometimes I swear she eats more than I do, but it doesn't seem to stick. Oh and she absolutely loves watermelon. We made the mistake of feeding her a bit too much with dinner two nights this week and paid for it the next morning. She was soaked, her pj's were soaked, and her sheets were wet. Two emergency morning baths followed. She didn't seem to mind though.

Today was her last day in the baby room at daycare. She had been spending a lot of time in the toddler room lately anyway and she loves it so I am sure she will do great.

Sam giving Uncle Marty some love!

Waiting.....waiting......waiting......I don't like waiting

I'm sitting in room 22 at Mercy Hospital right beside my mom. She is having a double mastectomy with reconstruction today at noon. I've only cried 3 times this morning so far. She seems fine, I need to get fine as well. My younger sister is here as well.

I've prayed more in the past 2.5 weeks than I ever have in my life. I hope God is listening. I know he is listening. We are listening to her new iPod touch here is what is playing........"My Savior, he can move the mountains, my god is mighty to save he is mighty to save. Forever, author of salvation, he rose and conquered the grave, Jesus conquered the grave. Shine your light and let the whole world see, singing for the glory of the risen king". My sister just walked back in from going the bathroom and started dancing. We will not ever be gloom and doom - I'm not gloom and doom, I'm just scared of the unknown. I have faith. He is going to take care of mom, she is in his hands.

We took Sam to the daycare my niece and nephew go to. Julee just called to check on her and she is doing fine. She was having some Cheerios for a snack.

Pray for us now if you have a moment. I'll post more later!

3rd in my division....I got a medal......but more importantly, if you pray I really could use a few words sent this way

Today was my first tri of the season. After months of preparing to run a half marathon that I didn't end up running I finally finished my first real race of the year. I know it is almost the middle of July but hey what can I say.

The day started early, as tri mornings always do. We were up at 5am and had Sam at my friend's house by 5:40am. Then we had to stop and buy some rain gear (a trash bag was the only thing we could find) because it was raining. I know, I know, you get wet doing a tri so what difference does it make. Well I don't like being wet when I don't have to be so I rocked the trash bag this morning!

Five minutes before transition closed I donned my wetsuit and headed to the water and I'm glad I did. They said it was 78 degrees but it felt much cooler than that. I put my face in and started to hyperventilate. I only got to swim for about 20 meters but those were precious meters. It calmed me down and anything that calms me down before a swim is heaven sent.

The gun went off and I started at the back and away from the buoys. It was bumpy for about 3/4 of the swim but I made it out of the 400 meter swim in roughly 8:30. On to the bike....my favorite part of the race. I was came up behind a 41 year old and passed her, then she passed me, then I passed her, then she passed me. I decided I was done playing this game and that she must really be a decent rider so I hung back and off to the wind side (to make sure I wasn't drafting). I rode behind her at a good clip until I had a half mile left then I blew by. I finished the 12.5 mile bike averaging 20.6 mph. My best ride time ever.

On the run, I felt drained but then that same 41 year old passed me again. I kept pace and started chatting with her. Then I did the same thing as I did on the bike. I ran behind her until she slowed to get a drink at the 2 mile mark. I had made up my mind that I wasn't going to pass her in the finish as I had on the bike but since she walked all bets were off. I passed her and then just set my own pace. I finished the 5K in 26:10 or so. Not fast by many other people's standards but my fastest tri run to date.

Throughout the day I ran on the edge of puking. My legs were burning less than two miles into the bike and I was gasping for air during most of the run. I had motivation though. You see my mom called me on Wednesday night and said she has a large lump in her breast. One that by Friday they were pretty sure is malignant. She will know for sure tomorrow. My mom.....my mom........my mom........please God not my mom. I know she is strong of faith, I know the doctors are good, I know that she will be fine. As for me, I obviously need some help. I'm willing to bargain with God at this point. If you are reading this mom, we (Travis, Sam, and I) love you sooooooo much. I know you know that and I know I tell you all of the time but I wanted to say it again, and again, and again. You are such an amazing person to me.

I'm crying.

I have to stop now......or not.

Anyway, when the going got tough during the race today I got angry. @%$& you cancer! I screamed to myself through my self induced pain. I am not friends with you & I want you to leave me and those I love the hell alone!

That is really all I have to say. I finished is 1:17 something. I got 3rd place in my age group and I got a medal. If my mom does have cancer, when she beats the pants off of it, I'm giving it to her.......she has earned it!

LOVE YOU LOTS MOM!

Sam's Spots, First Birthday, Vacation & It is Tri Time

This post is really long because we have been really busy since my last post. I'll work this through in chrono order.....

First, on Saturday, 6/12 we were supposed to have Sam's first birthday party with my side of the family in conjunction with my niece's 2nd birthday. We were going to go out of town and go to the zoo. Turned out the weather was horrible, half of the family couldn't make it and we cancelled our reservations. My sister and her family came to our house. My dad picked up the cakes my aunt had made and we had the party at our house. Then we went to the zoo. The party was great - Sam got great gifts and the cake was awesome!

On Friday, 6/18 daycare called me at work at 8:10 saying Sam had spots all over her body and I needed to pick her up. We had noticed a slight red spot on her cheek that morning but nothing alarming. I made a doctor appointment for 9:10am and went to pick her up. Her normal ped was on vacation so we saw a different doctor and one that I don't care much for. He said she had hives and must have either been exposed to something she is allergic to (either food, detergent, etc., etc or it could be caused by a virus of some sort. She did have a runny nose and kind of a barky cough since Wednesday night. She had no fever and seemed happy and he said her ears looked good - that was odd - her ears have never looked good. He said she wasn't contagious and she could go back to day care so I took her back. That night Travis left to go to his parent's house (4 hours away) and my mom came over to stay with Sam and I for the weekend. Sam was also scheduled to get tubes in her ears on Monday (6/21).

Saturday morning Sam still had spots and had a bit more on her cheeks. As the day went on they were spreading. The doctor had said they may cover most of her body before they went away and she was proving him to be right. I was still scratching my head wondering what could be causing this. Finally, I decided to strip her down and let her run around in her diaper to see if maybe the laundry detergent had a role to play. I hadn't changed the brand but you never know - maybe they tweaked the formula. The only other thing I could think of is that she had some pretty good cradle cap and on Thursday night I rubbed a generous amount of baby oil on her head and then scrubbed off the flakes when we gave her a bath. Maybe sitting in that caused some sort of allergic reaction. She also had an egg on Thursday, but she had eaten an egg before and didn't have any issues. Then I made the mistake of googling "allergy to baby oil" and read some really horrific stories about children ingesting baby oil and dying a slow death by suffocating. Don't google it.....it almost made me sick to my stomach. Then I started wondering if the same could be happening to her. Her cough was getting a little worse....why did I put that much oil on her head.....why did I let her sit in the bathtub in the water I used to wash it off....could it be....I would never forgive myself. It is amazing how far you let your thinking take you when you don't know what is going on.

Saturday around 6:30pm I put her in her highchair for dinner. She was eating fine, as always and humming the whole time (she is a noisy eater but it is sooooo cute). Then I looked at her fingers and they looked blue. Then I looked at her toes and they looked blue. She wasn't having any trouble breathing but why was she turning blue. I asked my mom, who is an LPN, what she thought. She thought they were blue. That was it we were going to the emergency room. I wasn't a total wreck but I wasn't calm either. On the way to the hospital I called the ask a nurse line to get directions to the children's hospital. The nurse I talked to convinced me to pull over and do an assessment before taking her to the ER. She walked me through a bunch of things and said that her hands and toes being blue was probably related to her being cold - could be by the time we had gotten her into her car seat they were normal looking again. We had the AC in the house set at 74 degrees. The nurse said as long as her mouth and lip area were not turning blue she was getting enough oxygen. She also walked me through the hives and said they sounded normal. I could give her Benedryl (which was something the Dr. had told me on Friday and I had been doing). She wanted me to skip the ER but to take her to a walk in clinic. It was 7:40 and the clinic closed at 8pm. We needed to be there in 10 minutes to be seen. She would call and tell them we were coming. We got there about ten minutes before 8pm and we sat for 45 minutes to see the doctor. In the last 5 minutes we were sitting in the waiting room her right foot started swelling. It was almost twice the normal size, was red and hot. Now I started to get really concerned. It was bothering her too. She didn't want you to touch it and she was getting fussy. What in the world was wrong with my baby!

The doctor came in and took one look at her foot and her hives and said "You are going downtown". He listened to her lungs and said they sounded fine but that the hives were not your normal hives and the foot swelling was a concern. She also had developed a low grade fever. He wanted her to be seen by a pediatric doctor right away. He said he would call and tell them we were coming then he walked us to the front desk. Along the way, he asked his nurse to call the hospital and tell them we were on our way. He then told the front desk lady he would not charge us for the visit - it should be documented as triage. Now I was more scared.

I called Travis even though mom thought I should wait. No one answered the phone. He didn't answer his cell. Now I was getting upset. I left a message on his parents home phone and he called me back about 10 minutes later. He would be headed home right away. When we got to the hospital they said they had heard we were coming. Everyone who looked at her foot cringed. We saw the triage nurse right away and then she sent us to the waiting room. The ER wasn't too busy but we weren't the only ones waiting. Less than 5 minutes later they were taking us to a room. Other people were still waiting, what was going on????? All of my fears were eased about 30 seconds after the doctor walked in the room. She said Sam had "hives on steroids" and that we should continue to give her Benedryl & Motrin. When we asked about the foot swelling she sensed our concern and went to get the attending physician. Oh and she had a really bad ear infection. Remember what I said about not liking the doctor she saw on Friday....how is it that he missed that.

The attending physician came in and put us at ease immediately. She said Sam had Erythema Multiforme which is basically hives on steroids. The lesions develop into what looks like a target and the inside starts out flesh colored then often turns purple/blue like a bruise. She said the foot swelling is normal with this and that her hands may swell as well. She said her son had the same thing about 5 years ago when he was 2 years old. She brought in a picture and sure enough he looked exactly like Sam. She said that as long as she didn't act sick she was fine and it would go away gradually. It may take 6 weeks for it to be totally gone. What a big sigh of relief I breathed then. Thank you God! And mom was right I probably should have waited to call Travis.

The lesions got worse and on Sunday night she looked bruised all over but by Monday morning she looked a log better. She got the ear tubes put in on Monday morning and did really well. The doctors there were great. She was quite cranky in the recovery room but by noon she was pretty much normal just a little tired. Fluid/pus drained from her ears for a little over a week and it was pretty disgusting but now they look great and she is talking like crazy. It has been so funny to watch her. It seems like she can hear sounds for the first time. She has been looking around like crazy - the other day we were walking through the store and she kept looking up in the air to see where the music over the speakers was coming from.

Then we went on vacation. It started with a few days at Travis' parents house and a small birthday party for Sam. Then we went to Colorado with Travis' sister, her hubby and their 9 month old. We left for CO at 4am in order to let the monkeys sleep for most of the 8 hour drive. They did great. While in CO we spent 2 days in Colorado Springs. We hiked a few trails. The first day was good but the second day not so much. Sam had a minor melt down about half way into a 7 mile hike and we had to take her out of the pack and put her in the Baby Bjorn. She calmed down and we were able to finish the hike. We went swimming every day (Sam loves swimming) and the only minor problem we had was that Sam decided not to sleep through the night. She was in a crib provided by the hotel and woke up both nights and would not calm down until she got into bed with us. Of course then I couldn't sleep because she had never ever slept with us. It was fine but I was still nervous the whole time.

We spent Tuesday night with Travis' sister and her family in Aurora.

We spent Wednesday - Friday in Estes Park. That place was awesome. We hiked some really cool trails, found a really cool little shop to eat at and in the end wished we would have spent the entire week there. Next year I think we will....there are so many more trails we could have explored.

On Saturday morning we headed home. We left Denver at 7am mountain time and rolled into the drive way at home around 9pm CST. It was a long day. Sam did great until about 2 hours from home when she started crying almost non stop. Finally, we rearranged all of the stuff and I sat in the back seat with her. A few minutes later after I couldn't really get her to calm down I tried to shift her around a bit because she didn't look very comfortable and saw stuff leak out of her diaper. Wow, what a mess. No wonder she wasn't a happy camper. We pulled over, pulled her out and changed her, removed her soiled pants and the top padding of the car seat - ick! The last hour and a half of the ride home was good though.

Regarding Sam turning one.....we can't believe it! She is such a little miracle. I think I have posted on our troubles getting pregnant, in essence giving up and deciding to adopt only to be blessed with this beautiful baby girl of our own. We love her so much as I know most parents do but it is really beyond words. Sam, if you read this someday, you really are the apple of our eyes and you are so loved. I hope you grow up always knowing this and that you can share this amazing experience with your own children some day. We look forward to spending the rest of our lives with you!

As for training, I didn't do any formal tri training for a week solid but spent a lot of time hiking & in the pool with Sam. I need to hit it pretty hard this week and my first tri of the season is on Sunday. I'll post more hopefully later this week. Until then, happy training & parenting.

The 20K That Wasn't

First off - we did run a 5K on 5/23. I pushed Sam and we got 1st place for my age & 7th in my age group and we ran slow. I guess this was a race for recreational run/walkers or something. Still, it is the first race we have ever placed in as a team. Yeah Baby!

Travis & Tracy did the 1/2 marathon and did great - it was so hot!

I was supposed to run a 20K on Saturday morning but a # of events took place that meant it wasn't to be. First my head started feeling all stuffed up Thursday night. Since I am still nursing I didn't take any meds and slept all of 4 hours. Friday I didn't feel too bad during the day but started feeling worse that night. I broke down and took a Claritin. Claritin doesn't do squat for my stuffiness but it is safe to take while breastfeeding.

Once again I couldn't sleep. Stuffed up like crazy and it hurt to swallow. At around 2:30am Sam's Angel Monitor alarm went off. We had family staying at the house so our bedroom door was shut - usually it is wide open. Anyway, when the alarm went off I jumped out of bed and bolted to Sam's room. I forgot about the door and ran right into it. I'm sure it was comical - I felt like an idiot and I bent my big toenail backwards and took a couple chunks of skin off of my foot. I also bruised my knee and scared the crap out of our houseguests.

I got out of bed (I was going to say that I woke up - but that would have required me to sleep) at 4:30 am and felt worse but thought it might get better after I got up and around. I put on my running gear & turned on the TV. It was raining out and more rain was headed our way. Then I took my temp - 99.2. Not much of a temp but about 2 degrees above my norm. I rode downtown with the hubby and my brother-in-law (who was also running the race) not sure if I would get out of the car or not. I chose not to. I was bummed but it was probably for the best. I've now been training since January for a half marathon which I have not run and probably won't until fall now.

My brother-in-law ran well, I still went downtown and hung out with the family. I took some Motrin and stated feeling better almost right away. I should have done that on Friday. Saturday afternoon I did go to the pool with my sister-in-law who says she wants to do a tri. Then before bed I took some Benadryl. Not the best thing if you are breastfeeding but I slept.

This morning, Travis competed in his first sprint tri of the season. He did great. My brother-in-law who ran the 20K on Saturday also signed up and did his first ever tri with absolutely no tri training. The swim was tough but he finished. Travis did great and the weather was awesome. Then this afternoon I did a 16 mile bike followed by a 1.75 mile run. I forgot how funky the legs feel after riding hard on the bike.

Now it is on to tri training. My first tri of the season will be July 11th. I'm excited! Watching Travis' race yesterday got my blood flowing faster. Here is the training schedule for this week.

6/7 - Off

6/8 - Swim: WU - 250, Drills - 6x25, Intervals 10x100, Kick Set - 4x25, CD - 200 (1,700)

6/9 - Cycle: Tempo - 24 minutes at threshold intensity, ride for a total of 1 hour & 5 minutes.

6/10 - Run: Tempo run - 18 minutes at threshold intensity, run for a total of 38 minutes

6/11 - Swim: WU - 250, Drills - 6x25, Intervals 7x75 with 45 sec rest, Kick Set - 6x25, CD - 250

6/12 - Cycle: Foundation Ride - 1hr 15min steady ride at moderate intensity.

6/13 - Run: Foundation Run - 45 minutes at moderate intensity.

Sam Update: She crawled on all fours for the first time yesterday afternoon. She is also learning to purse her lips when she gives kisses and she loves giving kisses. She also has been picking things up and then trying to give whatever it is to you. Travis also swears she told the day care ladies "bye-bye" today. We haven't been able to get her to repeat it though. She gets tubes in her ears on the 21st. We went to the ENT last week and he said they are still full of fluid - I think they have been full of fluid since her first well baby appointment at 2 months old. I really can't believe she will be one at the end of the month. We love watching her learn new things and explore the world and it is amazing how fast time flies.