Mom's Boyfriend Visits the Hospital

River, Sam & Mom

Mom is still in the hospital recovering from an infection in her left breast. She's been there since Tuesday evening and as long as things go well, she should be headed home tomorrow.

When talking to my sister on Friday morning, she mentioned how drab mom's room was. There were no flowers (it drives mom crazy that people spend money on flowers) and it seemed do dull. I started wracking my brain, what could add a little color to the room and make mom smile whenever she looked at it. What does she like???? Then Johnny Depp popped into my head. I thought about a Pirates of the Caribbean poster. He is one of her favorites - particularly in that movie. We could have a movie night at the hospital on Friday night. Then I thought some more, a poster just wouldn't cut it....where could I find a life size cardboard cut out of Captain Jack Sparrow in an hour and a half. Thank you to "The Theatrical Shop" in town. I called, they had it and I immediately left work. It was approx 6 foot tall and folded over once. It barely fit in the trunk.

Assembly Time

When we got to the hospital, my sister and her family met us in the parking garage. We carried Jack to the family room on the 4th floor where we assembled him. Then we headed to mom's room. Travis hung back with Captain Jack. I had the theme from Pirates ready to play on my cell. Sam and I walked into the room and gave mom a hug and a kiss and made a little small talk. She then asked where Travis was. We told her he had stopped off at the bathroom. I headed out into the hall to "let him know what room we where in". I told him we were ready & to give me 30 seconds to get the song rolling and my camera ready.

I started the song and got out the camera and mom just looked at me funny. Then Travis made his entrance with Captain Jack leading the way. Here are some pictures of mom's reaction.

With all of the stuff we have had going on, I've still managed to squeeze in workouts but I'm not following my training plan. We'll see how much I suffer for this next weekend.

Sam Update: She fed herself with a spoon on Thursday night. She still isn't walking but she also doesn't want to crawl much anymore. She likes to grunt until you get up and walk with her holding onto your hands. It is fun but tiring!

We also picked mom some wild flowers on our run this morning. I'm sure some of them are actually weeds but oh well they looked pretty.

Spin Class

Travis & I did another spin class at the YMCA tonight. Wow - these things are tough. We did a flat road warm up then did sprints first and then did steady hills. She had us ride at 200 watts for 5 min, 4 min, 3 min, 2 min, & 1 min with one minute recovery between each pedaling at 120 RPM on the recovery. I was sweating bullets and my hubby was barely breathing hard. Actually, he said he got in a good workout but he looked much better at the end than I did. He rode the hills at 250 watts. He is the shiznit!

Does anyone out there use spin classes as part of their tri training? It seems like it would make me a stronger biker but when I googled it most of the info I found was negative. They say the intensity is too high. I figure it is a speed workout that I don't normally do so it should be good but then again, what do I know.

We took Sam to the child watch area when we got to the Y and she has stranger danger pretty bad right now. About a half hour into our class one of the day care ladies came up to get me saying she wouldn't stop crying. I immediately got irritated. I didn't believe that she was having that tough of a time. I didn't say a word to the lady. I led the way down to the room and when I opened the door she wasn't crying and she didn't look like she had been crying. She was sitting with another lady and whimpered a bit but when I made eye contact with that lady she nodded her head and said she seemed fine now. I went back upstairs and finished the workout. When it was over we made a beeline for the child watch room. Sam was on the floor playing with toys. I asked the lady who was with her if she had been upset and hard to deal with and she said not really, she wasn't really crying, she had no tears and was just whimpering a bit on and off. Once she acclimated (which took her about a half hour) she was willing to play and she was fine. I feel guilty dropping her off at child watch after she has been at daycare all day but it does let us get a solid workout in and we don't have to alternate which seems to take all night. Has anyone taken their child to child watch at the gym? It is the only way we can get in a good bike ride right now.

Mom Update: She met with the oncologist this afternoon. The great news is there was nothing on the CT scan that looked suspicious. The bad news is that they sent her to the hospital because she has an infection in her left breast (the side that had the tumor). She is in the hospital to get intravenous antibiotics and to see if a drain tube needs to be put in. I think this has to be wearing on her a bit, it certainly would be if it were me. If you are the praying type please keep praying and thanking God for healing her. She was supposed to start chemo this week but had to have the surgery last week to remove some dying skin. Now she has the infection. Chemo plans may be on hold again but healing of the breast tissues is the most important thing right now. Keep plugging away mom - we love ya lots!!!!!

Sam Update: She moved up to the young toddler room at day care on Monday. She seems to like it but it is wearing her out. They have a nap schedule now and she is so busy all day long. She has come home with more bumps and scrapes over the past 2 days then she had in the past 13 months in the baby room. I guess that is what happens as they grow. We bought her some blocks this weekend and she loves them. She still isn't walking but now she doesn't seem to want to crawl. Whenever she wants to go somewhere she grabs your hands and grunts until you stand up and walk with her - it is wearing me out!!!!

Blogging via my Droid

It works! Sort of. And I can upload pictures too! Look out!!!!!! The picture above is Sam showing her excitement over the tiny stick she has in her hand! Aren't kids awesome!

Surgery #2

River, Julee, Mom, Logan (in front), Sam & Me

First off, thank you all for your very supportive comments to my last post. It is so great to hear stories of survivors! The past month has been incredibly busy. Mom lives with my sister is two hours away but I have been trying to make it to some of the doctor appointments and we were also there a few weekends ago so I haven't had much time to write any updates. I've been trying to post via my iPod & via my Droid but neither one lets me do anything except create a title. If anyone knows if there is a way to make it work on the iPod or Droid let me know.

The mastectomy went pretty well. The pathology confirmed the cancer had spread to 5 of the 17 lymph nodes they removed. I was really upset for a while. I called my hubby and he got in the car and drove over then we both took the next day off and spent some time at my sisters. Mom did great. She was pretty sore for a few days but her demeanor has been great. She is my hero! Oh, and my sister's day care didn't charge me for the 2 days Sam spent there. That was awesome. Just when you start to think there aren't any caring people out there something like that happens and it just makes you feel so good.

Mom's sisters flew in two weeks ago and are going home tomorrow. They have kept her really busy so I hope she does well when they leave. I know she could stand to catch up on some sleep. It was great seeing them and I hope they can come out again soon.

Aunt Bobbi, Aunt Jeannie, Mom, Sam, Me, Logan, Julee & River

Mom had surgery this past Tuesday afternoon to clean up some dying skin where her incisions are. I had never heard of such a thing but apparently it happens from time to time. If she wasn't going to start chemo soon they probably would have just let it heal on its own but they want to expedite the healing process and apparently removing the dying tissue does just that. Surgery went well (although it was scheduled for 3pm and didn't start until 5:30pm). She was in recovery by 7pm and then in the car headed for home by 8:30pm. I drove home and was in bed shortly after 11pm. It was a long but good day. I took mom scotcharoos (one of her favorite treats) which she appreciated! She meets with the oncologist on Tuesday afternoon when they will review the CT scan she had so please keep us in your prayers!

My little sister has been amazing throughout this whole thing. I love you Julee & you are doing a great job!

One of the good things I see happening is the time we are spending with mom, Julee, Marty & my niece and nephew. On Tuesday at the hospital my niece actually came to me for a hug and a kiss. She is two and has never done that before. I'm really thankful for this, I just wish we would have done it under better circumstances.

Now, on to working out and tri training. I've been plugging away. Normally I follow a training plan to a "T". That hasn't been happening lately. I've given myself some leeway to get the workouts in whenever and in whatever order I can. We also joined the YMCA this week. I really want to work as a fitness/nutrition advisor to senior citizens when I retire (and maybe before that if the finances would work out) and I want to take as many classes and get as much training as I can. My short term goal is to teach a spinning class.

Speaking of spinning class..........oh my goodness!!!!! I've heard people call these classes "sufferfests" and now I understand why. I took two classes last week and boy were they tough. I think I threw up a little in my mouth during the last class. Sorry if that grossed anyone out! My sister tells me I need to try a kickboxing class. Travis is going with me to spinning tomorrow morning. I told him how tough it is. I'm sure he'll breeze through it and I will look like a wimp. Oh well.

Sam update: She is doing well. At her 1 year check up she had dropped to the 8th percentile for weight. The doctor still isn't too concerned but said to keep giving her formula and add an extra scoop. She eats well, sometimes I swear she eats more than I do, but it doesn't seem to stick. Oh and she absolutely loves watermelon. We made the mistake of feeding her a bit too much with dinner two nights this week and paid for it the next morning. She was soaked, her pj's were soaked, and her sheets were wet. Two emergency morning baths followed. She didn't seem to mind though.

Today was her last day in the baby room at daycare. She had been spending a lot of time in the toddler room lately anyway and she loves it so I am sure she will do great.

Sam giving Uncle Marty some love!

Waiting.....waiting......waiting......I don't like waiting

I'm sitting in room 22 at Mercy Hospital right beside my mom. She is having a double mastectomy with reconstruction today at noon. I've only cried 3 times this morning so far. She seems fine, I need to get fine as well. My younger sister is here as well.

I've prayed more in the past 2.5 weeks than I ever have in my life. I hope God is listening. I know he is listening. We are listening to her new iPod touch here is what is playing........"My Savior, he can move the mountains, my god is mighty to save he is mighty to save. Forever, author of salvation, he rose and conquered the grave, Jesus conquered the grave. Shine your light and let the whole world see, singing for the glory of the risen king". My sister just walked back in from going the bathroom and started dancing. We will not ever be gloom and doom - I'm not gloom and doom, I'm just scared of the unknown. I have faith. He is going to take care of mom, she is in his hands.

We took Sam to the daycare my niece and nephew go to. Julee just called to check on her and she is doing fine. She was having some Cheerios for a snack.

Pray for us now if you have a moment. I'll post more later!

3rd in my division....I got a medal......but more importantly, if you pray I really could use a few words sent this way

Today was my first tri of the season. After months of preparing to run a half marathon that I didn't end up running I finally finished my first real race of the year. I know it is almost the middle of July but hey what can I say.

The day started early, as tri mornings always do. We were up at 5am and had Sam at my friend's house by 5:40am. Then we had to stop and buy some rain gear (a trash bag was the only thing we could find) because it was raining. I know, I know, you get wet doing a tri so what difference does it make. Well I don't like being wet when I don't have to be so I rocked the trash bag this morning!

Five minutes before transition closed I donned my wetsuit and headed to the water and I'm glad I did. They said it was 78 degrees but it felt much cooler than that. I put my face in and started to hyperventilate. I only got to swim for about 20 meters but those were precious meters. It calmed me down and anything that calms me down before a swim is heaven sent.

The gun went off and I started at the back and away from the buoys. It was bumpy for about 3/4 of the swim but I made it out of the 400 meter swim in roughly 8:30. On to the bike....my favorite part of the race. I was came up behind a 41 year old and passed her, then she passed me, then I passed her, then she passed me. I decided I was done playing this game and that she must really be a decent rider so I hung back and off to the wind side (to make sure I wasn't drafting). I rode behind her at a good clip until I had a half mile left then I blew by. I finished the 12.5 mile bike averaging 20.6 mph. My best ride time ever.

On the run, I felt drained but then that same 41 year old passed me again. I kept pace and started chatting with her. Then I did the same thing as I did on the bike. I ran behind her until she slowed to get a drink at the 2 mile mark. I had made up my mind that I wasn't going to pass her in the finish as I had on the bike but since she walked all bets were off. I passed her and then just set my own pace. I finished the 5K in 26:10 or so. Not fast by many other people's standards but my fastest tri run to date.

Throughout the day I ran on the edge of puking. My legs were burning less than two miles into the bike and I was gasping for air during most of the run. I had motivation though. You see my mom called me on Wednesday night and said she has a large lump in her breast. One that by Friday they were pretty sure is malignant. She will know for sure tomorrow. My mom.....my mom........my mom........please God not my mom. I know she is strong of faith, I know the doctors are good, I know that she will be fine. As for me, I obviously need some help. I'm willing to bargain with God at this point. If you are reading this mom, we (Travis, Sam, and I) love you sooooooo much. I know you know that and I know I tell you all of the time but I wanted to say it again, and again, and again. You are such an amazing person to me.

I'm crying.

I have to stop now......or not.

Anyway, when the going got tough during the race today I got angry. @%$& you cancer! I screamed to myself through my self induced pain. I am not friends with you & I want you to leave me and those I love the hell alone!

That is really all I have to say. I finished is 1:17 something. I got 3rd place in my age group and I got a medal. If my mom does have cancer, when she beats the pants off of it, I'm giving it to her.......she has earned it!

LOVE YOU LOTS MOM!

Sam's Spots, First Birthday, Vacation & It is Tri Time

This post is really long because we have been really busy since my last post. I'll work this through in chrono order.....

First, on Saturday, 6/12 we were supposed to have Sam's first birthday party with my side of the family in conjunction with my niece's 2nd birthday. We were going to go out of town and go to the zoo. Turned out the weather was horrible, half of the family couldn't make it and we cancelled our reservations. My sister and her family came to our house. My dad picked up the cakes my aunt had made and we had the party at our house. Then we went to the zoo. The party was great - Sam got great gifts and the cake was awesome!

On Friday, 6/18 daycare called me at work at 8:10 saying Sam had spots all over her body and I needed to pick her up. We had noticed a slight red spot on her cheek that morning but nothing alarming. I made a doctor appointment for 9:10am and went to pick her up. Her normal ped was on vacation so we saw a different doctor and one that I don't care much for. He said she had hives and must have either been exposed to something she is allergic to (either food, detergent, etc., etc or it could be caused by a virus of some sort. She did have a runny nose and kind of a barky cough since Wednesday night. She had no fever and seemed happy and he said her ears looked good - that was odd - her ears have never looked good. He said she wasn't contagious and she could go back to day care so I took her back. That night Travis left to go to his parent's house (4 hours away) and my mom came over to stay with Sam and I for the weekend. Sam was also scheduled to get tubes in her ears on Monday (6/21).

Saturday morning Sam still had spots and had a bit more on her cheeks. As the day went on they were spreading. The doctor had said they may cover most of her body before they went away and she was proving him to be right. I was still scratching my head wondering what could be causing this. Finally, I decided to strip her down and let her run around in her diaper to see if maybe the laundry detergent had a role to play. I hadn't changed the brand but you never know - maybe they tweaked the formula. The only other thing I could think of is that she had some pretty good cradle cap and on Thursday night I rubbed a generous amount of baby oil on her head and then scrubbed off the flakes when we gave her a bath. Maybe sitting in that caused some sort of allergic reaction. She also had an egg on Thursday, but she had eaten an egg before and didn't have any issues. Then I made the mistake of googling "allergy to baby oil" and read some really horrific stories about children ingesting baby oil and dying a slow death by suffocating. Don't google it.....it almost made me sick to my stomach. Then I started wondering if the same could be happening to her. Her cough was getting a little worse....why did I put that much oil on her head.....why did I let her sit in the bathtub in the water I used to wash it off....could it be....I would never forgive myself. It is amazing how far you let your thinking take you when you don't know what is going on.

Saturday around 6:30pm I put her in her highchair for dinner. She was eating fine, as always and humming the whole time (she is a noisy eater but it is sooooo cute). Then I looked at her fingers and they looked blue. Then I looked at her toes and they looked blue. She wasn't having any trouble breathing but why was she turning blue. I asked my mom, who is an LPN, what she thought. She thought they were blue. That was it we were going to the emergency room. I wasn't a total wreck but I wasn't calm either. On the way to the hospital I called the ask a nurse line to get directions to the children's hospital. The nurse I talked to convinced me to pull over and do an assessment before taking her to the ER. She walked me through a bunch of things and said that her hands and toes being blue was probably related to her being cold - could be by the time we had gotten her into her car seat they were normal looking again. We had the AC in the house set at 74 degrees. The nurse said as long as her mouth and lip area were not turning blue she was getting enough oxygen. She also walked me through the hives and said they sounded normal. I could give her Benedryl (which was something the Dr. had told me on Friday and I had been doing). She wanted me to skip the ER but to take her to a walk in clinic. It was 7:40 and the clinic closed at 8pm. We needed to be there in 10 minutes to be seen. She would call and tell them we were coming. We got there about ten minutes before 8pm and we sat for 45 minutes to see the doctor. In the last 5 minutes we were sitting in the waiting room her right foot started swelling. It was almost twice the normal size, was red and hot. Now I started to get really concerned. It was bothering her too. She didn't want you to touch it and she was getting fussy. What in the world was wrong with my baby!

The doctor came in and took one look at her foot and her hives and said "You are going downtown". He listened to her lungs and said they sounded fine but that the hives were not your normal hives and the foot swelling was a concern. She also had developed a low grade fever. He wanted her to be seen by a pediatric doctor right away. He said he would call and tell them we were coming then he walked us to the front desk. Along the way, he asked his nurse to call the hospital and tell them we were on our way. He then told the front desk lady he would not charge us for the visit - it should be documented as triage. Now I was more scared.

I called Travis even though mom thought I should wait. No one answered the phone. He didn't answer his cell. Now I was getting upset. I left a message on his parents home phone and he called me back about 10 minutes later. He would be headed home right away. When we got to the hospital they said they had heard we were coming. Everyone who looked at her foot cringed. We saw the triage nurse right away and then she sent us to the waiting room. The ER wasn't too busy but we weren't the only ones waiting. Less than 5 minutes later they were taking us to a room. Other people were still waiting, what was going on????? All of my fears were eased about 30 seconds after the doctor walked in the room. She said Sam had "hives on steroids" and that we should continue to give her Benedryl & Motrin. When we asked about the foot swelling she sensed our concern and went to get the attending physician. Oh and she had a really bad ear infection. Remember what I said about not liking the doctor she saw on Friday....how is it that he missed that.

The attending physician came in and put us at ease immediately. She said Sam had Erythema Multiforme which is basically hives on steroids. The lesions develop into what looks like a target and the inside starts out flesh colored then often turns purple/blue like a bruise. She said the foot swelling is normal with this and that her hands may swell as well. She said her son had the same thing about 5 years ago when he was 2 years old. She brought in a picture and sure enough he looked exactly like Sam. She said that as long as she didn't act sick she was fine and it would go away gradually. It may take 6 weeks for it to be totally gone. What a big sigh of relief I breathed then. Thank you God! And mom was right I probably should have waited to call Travis.

The lesions got worse and on Sunday night she looked bruised all over but by Monday morning she looked a log better. She got the ear tubes put in on Monday morning and did really well. The doctors there were great. She was quite cranky in the recovery room but by noon she was pretty much normal just a little tired. Fluid/pus drained from her ears for a little over a week and it was pretty disgusting but now they look great and she is talking like crazy. It has been so funny to watch her. It seems like she can hear sounds for the first time. She has been looking around like crazy - the other day we were walking through the store and she kept looking up in the air to see where the music over the speakers was coming from.

Then we went on vacation. It started with a few days at Travis' parents house and a small birthday party for Sam. Then we went to Colorado with Travis' sister, her hubby and their 9 month old. We left for CO at 4am in order to let the monkeys sleep for most of the 8 hour drive. They did great. While in CO we spent 2 days in Colorado Springs. We hiked a few trails. The first day was good but the second day not so much. Sam had a minor melt down about half way into a 7 mile hike and we had to take her out of the pack and put her in the Baby Bjorn. She calmed down and we were able to finish the hike. We went swimming every day (Sam loves swimming) and the only minor problem we had was that Sam decided not to sleep through the night. She was in a crib provided by the hotel and woke up both nights and would not calm down until she got into bed with us. Of course then I couldn't sleep because she had never ever slept with us. It was fine but I was still nervous the whole time.

We spent Tuesday night with Travis' sister and her family in Aurora.

We spent Wednesday - Friday in Estes Park. That place was awesome. We hiked some really cool trails, found a really cool little shop to eat at and in the end wished we would have spent the entire week there. Next year I think we will....there are so many more trails we could have explored.

On Saturday morning we headed home. We left Denver at 7am mountain time and rolled into the drive way at home around 9pm CST. It was a long day. Sam did great until about 2 hours from home when she started crying almost non stop. Finally, we rearranged all of the stuff and I sat in the back seat with her. A few minutes later after I couldn't really get her to calm down I tried to shift her around a bit because she didn't look very comfortable and saw stuff leak out of her diaper. Wow, what a mess. No wonder she wasn't a happy camper. We pulled over, pulled her out and changed her, removed her soiled pants and the top padding of the car seat - ick! The last hour and a half of the ride home was good though.

Regarding Sam turning one.....we can't believe it! She is such a little miracle. I think I have posted on our troubles getting pregnant, in essence giving up and deciding to adopt only to be blessed with this beautiful baby girl of our own. We love her so much as I know most parents do but it is really beyond words. Sam, if you read this someday, you really are the apple of our eyes and you are so loved. I hope you grow up always knowing this and that you can share this amazing experience with your own children some day. We look forward to spending the rest of our lives with you!

As for training, I didn't do any formal tri training for a week solid but spent a lot of time hiking & in the pool with Sam. I need to hit it pretty hard this week and my first tri of the season is on Sunday. I'll post more hopefully later this week. Until then, happy training & parenting.